Loss

 The past 24 hours have been pretty rough here.   I've been planning to start a business with a friend of mine who happens to be an outstanding chef.  I'm not exaggerating, he is truly gifted.  So we've been talking about it and finally started planning this year.   Earlier this summer we put things in motion and he came to Florida to start kicking the tires.

What I didn't know was that he has a serious drinking problem.   The kind of problem where you can't stop once you start.

We closed our eyes to it because we thought "he's on a mini vacation... Once we start working it will get better"..

Fast forward to last month and he arrives.  First thing he wants to do is drink...   Ok, fine we're celebrating the launch of the business...  He spends 2-3 days drunk/hungover and then we get going.   Get licensed, get inspected, all that stuff.   Meanwhile he's still having benders every 5-7 days, yes in three weeks we had three benders, all of which went 2-3 days.  I feel like I can't relax at home because if I have a drink I have to offer him one, but I don't need to get wasted every night, nor do I want to finish every bottle I open, and to be honest we were over after effects.   I might have dealth with the drunk time, but it was the mood swings and all around shitty attitude we couldn't take.

It's a last weekend and we're finally set for an event this coming Friday.  We're having a nice relaxing Sunday talking about the event, making some snacks for football, and he starts drinking beer.   Two beers in he goes "Lets drink tonight!"   I say no because of all the above, plus I don't want a hangover on Monday for work.   He sighs, then goes and buys a handle of vodka.   Proceeeds to drink half that night and the other half once he got up on Monday.   Tries to do some work on Monday but kept drinking and passed out in the afternoon.   Missed all the planned work activities on Tuesday either sleeping, or sulking or watching videos.   Finally, around 6pm Merinda and I confront him and he couldn't give a shit.   Made no effort to say he was sorry, wrong, hell anything beyond asking "what did you do today?".   Mind you I was ordering items for the popup *and* working my 9-5 which is funding the startup.   At that point I lost it and pulled the plug on the business and after a day of him sulking and not talking to use he finally left this evening.   This was every bit as awkward and unpleasant as you can imagine.  It wasn't dissimiliar from the last time I saw my first wife when she moved out of our home.

As I commented to someone, it's one thing to have a friend who's an addict, it's something different to have it be a business partner that you have to rely on.   He was the chef and chief food guy, he made all the decisions yet I was told I was controlling.

I have an alcoholic father, I was in my 30's when I told him he wasn't welcome to be in my life anymore because he behaved like my friend (yes dad got sober).   My wife has an alcoholic mother who also behaves like this and neither of us wanted to be someone's nanny.  I don't want to worry that this is the weekend where he won't be able to work and fucks up our business, and as I learned it won't be the first time.

Regardless, I'm feeling pretty low.  Yes the business failure is disappointing, but more importantly I've lost a friend that I've known for over a decade and I just hope he finds help before he ends up in a worse place...

Hug your loved ones....   Be safe....

Fall...

I like living in Florida, I really do.   I don't mind the heat and humidity and have no issues with the summer here.   I was glad to trade snow and ice for the heat.   We have a pool and I jump in when it's hot or I can go in the air conditioned house.  That said, it's amazing here when the summer heat finally breaks and we get into the cooler weather.   It also is bringing some welcome changes for my exercise routine as I'm hoping to finally get some cross training and a little less bike time.   It's not that I'm sick of the bike, but since I'm effectively at my goal I'm trying to find the happy medium where I can maintain my weight and exercise routine.

So with all that said lets talk about September.  Here were the goals I set:

• Weigh 230 or less
• Ride 400 miles
• Walk 15 miles
• Perfect Month in Apple
• Get the September exercise goal in Apple.
• Finish the TDE

Weight results:

• Starting Weight: 237.64
• Ending Weight: 229.30
• Net Loss: (8.34)
• Total Loss: (98.70)

Exercise info:

• Number of rides: 89
• Time on exercise: 01:05:58:52
• Distance on rides: 515.57
• Number of walks: 4
• Time walking: 02:02
• Distance walking: 6.2

Results:

I like to start with what went well and I hit all my major goals.   I hit my weight goal, I crushed my bike distance goal, more on that in a minute, had a perfect month in Apple and achieved the September exercise goal.  What I didn't expect was to hit the end of the month and discover that I needed five days of 80+ minutes of exercise to hit my September challenge.   I assumed this would be no problem, do my regular workouts then go for a stroll at night and I'll get that, easy peasy.   Wrong.   Being more fit means my heart rate doesn't spike during a walk and it's not a workout.....  Needless to say I had to push myself on the bike a lot more than I planned and really burned my legs out in that last week.   Yeah I demolished my mileage goal, hell I had my first 500+ mile month, but I need some rest days, and I need them pretty badly.  By the end of last week I was feeling shattered and struggling on the bike and I hit bottom on Saturday when I was barely able to keep pace in my class.   I finished but it was a struggle and I was far below what I expected in terms of pace and output.  Let me finish by saying I also missed two goals last month.  I didn't walk enough nor did I finish the TDE.  I still have three long hills and a speed class to go and have no excuses.   That said, it ended up being a decent month and I was satisfied with the month. 

So, lets talk about October.   Getting to the "end" doesn't mean going back to the old ways and here's what I want to do this month:

October Goals:

• Weigh 225
• Ride 450 miles
• Walk 25 miles
• Perfect Month in Apple
• Get the October exercise goal in Apple.
• Finish the TDE

Yeah these should look familiar.   My monthly fitness goals are probably going to look like this going forward although some will vary but these are all tied to specific activities and challenges.    My revised weight goal has been 225 for a while.  I just want to get there and maintain it for a while.   I don't think I need to be "skinnier" although I'd be happy to lose some stubborn belly.  I know a flat stomach is out of the question, but it's demoralizing to work this hard and have handles I can grab that I know will never go away.   Not just a pinch either but a fistful of flab.  Hopefully if I keep working I'll trade some of that for muscle and can tone myself up.   Time will tell, but if it doesn't resolve itself I'll talk to the doctor about it and see what I can do.  I think the ride and exercise goals are pretty self explanatory.   Apple has a workout goal to walk two miles fourteen times this month, so I should get that for a change and it will help me with some variety and days off the bike.  Merinda is interested in getting in better shape so we're going to try to walk two miles a few days per week to get both of us moving.   I'm also hoping to get this food side hustle going and that's going to take away my weekend workout times after this coming weekend so we'll see how that impacts things.   Not sure how I'll finish the TDE this month, but I'll just slug away at it as I only have three long classes left.

Final Thoughts:

I'm heading into what's traditionally been tough times for me.   Typically, once I get rolling I can hit my weight loss goal and feel great then I start eating more and working out less and eventually end up back where I started.   I'm trying to avoid that this time.   I just don't want to throw away all the work I did this year.   Yes, I had a cheat weekend in terms of food, but I did work out all weekend and to be fair, I needed it.   As I already said I was pretty shattered by Sunday.  I skipped Dani's class because I needed some rest and I wasn't sure how I'd do physically that morning.   I did sixty minutes later while watching the red zone, but it was well needed both physically and mentally.  Other things that are exciting are I installed the challenges app last month and like it.   I've got three challenges going this month so= I hope it's going to keep Merinda and I motivated, and I joined a long distance echelon challenge which starts on the 15th (go east coast riders!).   I'll post some updates about that, but it sounds like fun and should keep my mileage up, especially since I still have a 450 mile target for the month.  I'm hoping the walking days help me with fatigue.  Still have to get the Bianchi in for a tuneup but the weather is getting nice and maybe riding outdoors will help.  TLDR?  This should be the last month of losing weight and hope these other things help me lose the last few pounds and stay on track.

I did forget to mention that 10/1/2023 was eleven years of no smoking...  I miss it sometimes but c'est la vie.  That's more than enough for a Monday morning, so have a great month...   Talk soon.

500...

A year ago I would have laughed if you told me that I would have done 500+ spin classes in a year, but here we are.   I don't really comment on ride counts, weight loss or any of the fitness things I've done anywhere but here, because I'm not doing any of this for accolades or praise, don't get me wrong I like it but that's not what drives me.   However, I do want the cube and I'm halfway there.

Someone else posted this image, thank you Tom, and it completely describes my focus.   I was looking at my month, and I'm 10 days away from October, yes that too is hard to believe, but I seem to have hit another weight plateau.  I'm not bothered by it, but it is a little annoying.  If I believe my scale my body fat has lowered substantially, and that's always a possibility, but I tend to take the body measurements from smart scales with a grain of salt.   We'll see how it looks at month end.

Two years ago...

 Two years ago Merinda and I closed on our house in Florida.   Kind of hard to believe we've already been here that long.   It feels like we've been here for a long time and we just moved here, at the same time.   I don't know how to describe it.   Regardless, despite all the things people gripe about in Florida; Heat, Snow Birds, Hurricanes, Flordia Man (really Florida People) we both like it here.   Yeah I miss a few things from up north, mostly some people, I don't miss Ashburn as a place to live.   It was without a doubt, the least charming place I've ever lived and utterly without appeal.

On the fitness note I've been struggling a little bit to find my rhythym since we got back from vacation.   I seem to be a little more tired than usual and having challenges waking up on time.    If you add in some Echelon  schedule changes, that I'm less than pleased with, they removed classes I took and didn't replace them, some work meetings that interfere, it just has made it harder for me to make a regular routine.  I've just don't like having to squeeze my ride in at random times and that's only going to get harder soon.  Hopefully they put some classes back into the schedule on Monday and Thursday mornings.

I also bought a new ride.   I've always had a particular fondness for Italian bikes, and since a Ducati probably isn't the best choice I got a Bianchi.   Looking forward to getting out and riding this soon.

Fantasy Football

 Are you ready for some football?   Just sticking this up here

Fall is coming

Fall doesn't quite feel the same in Florida as it did up north, but it's still a welcome change.   I'm looking forward to some cooler weather as the last two months down here have been hot...   Yes, Florida hot...  Hot enough that Merinda and I have been retreating into the house in the evening instead of sitting outside.  The real reason I'm looking forward to cooler weather is I think I'm ready to start riding outside.   I thought I'd found a bike but the guy flaked out on me, so I'm back to square one.   I decided to buy a used bike to save some money.   It's also going to signal the end of hurricane season and while we've been very fortunate here, I'm ready to for that to end again too.

August was a busy month with vacation and Idiala so let's look at my results.   As always, here were my goals I set in July:

• Weigh 240 or less
• Ride 225 miles
• Walk 25 miles
• Perfect Month in Apple
• Get the August exercise goal in Apple.

Weight results:

• Starting Weight: 248.50
• Ending Weight: 236.99
• Net Loss: (11.51)
• Total Loss: (91.01)

Exercise info:

• Number of rides: 52
• Time on exercise: 22:00
• Distance on rides: 377.84
• Number of walks: 10
• Time walking: 4:29
• Distance walking: 13.0

Results:

 This is the first month in a while where I exceeded all my goals.  I know that Strava didn't capture all the walking we did in San Francisco, but Merinda and I took roughly 60,000 steps in the weekend.   Yes that's correct 60k steps.  I got my first 50km award in Pokemon Go so I think I can give myself a pass on that goal.   Strava and Apple only record the distance if you start a workout and I didn't do that every time we walked somewhere.   Regardless we walked all the time and I hit that goal.   What I didn't expect was a decent bike in the hotel in Cali or a decent bike on the Miracle which helped me crush my mileage goal for the month.  I expected to hit the perfect month in Apple, the only goal I had to change was my stand goal on the day we flew home, and I figured I'd get the August Apple challenge because it was an easy one.   All that said, I saved the best for last.   I did not expect to hit my weight loss goal for this month.   We were going on vacation for two weeks, and we spent the first few days in San Francisco.   I had no intentions of calorie counting on vacation, or saying no I can't eat that, and I didn't.  I ate what I wanted, when I wanted when we were on vacation.  I can't remember any instance where I thought "you can't eat that because its fattening" and my realistic goal was to come home within five pounds of what I weighed when we left.  What I didn't expect was to come home weight neutral, and once that happened I thought I could hit my weight goal.

On that positive note let's think about September.

September Goals:

• Weigh 230 or less
• Ride 400 miles
• Walk 15 miles
• Perfect Month in Apple
• Get the September exercise goal in Apple.
• Finish the TDE

In terms of my original plan I am effectively at the finish line.   I've passed my original target weight and have my revised goal in my sights.   That said I want to maintain and continue to work on being fit.  I have zero intentions of getting fat again, so I'm setting my intentions as such.  I also think that keeping up with Apple health will be a good motivational tool to keep me moving.   I still have seven TDE stages to complete this month.   Not sure how i'll fit in the four long hills classes, but with some of the scheduling changes Echelon has done I might try to do one a week on either Wednesday or Sunday.  We'll see how that goes.

Final Thoughts:

This was an awesome month.  We had a great vacation where I was able to test and prove out my "new" lifestyle changes.   I had a great month for fitness and Idialia missed this area.   I even had a few days where I dreaded getting on the bike but felt pretty good afterwards.   I've started scheduling in some off days and going for a walk instead, and that should be nicer now that it's hopefully cooling off.   I also joined a fitness challenge group, there's an app to compete with some other folks that I will talk about if it's any good, and a distance challenge group through Echelon.   I'm hoping these help with some accountability as my friends here are can be hit or miss on exercise and sometimes are more interested in food and partying.  Merinda and I are planning on getting back to walking in St. Pete this month and I am going to find a bike and start riding outside on the weekends.  I'll probably start on the Pinellas trail, but I want to find a cycling club so I can ride with other people.   Lastly, I get to start rewarding myself for achieving my goals.   Yes, I'll be getting a hot tub at some point, and I'm still irritated at the bait and switch I saw on Prime day, but more importantly is the scuba diving.   I'd love to to get to swimming more and doing a little more cross training. 

Have a great month to anyone reading this.   Hopefully September is even better than August.  I'm going to try and post a little more, but we'll see how that goes.

Back from vacation.

That was, without a doubt, the best cruise Merinda and I have gone on.   I don't know if it was the weekend in San Francisco, or the cruise to Alaska, or a bit of both, but both of us loved the trip.   We ate a lot of good food in Cali, saw some redwoods, walked all over, and then repeated the same on the boat.   Food was much better than expected.   The weather, with the exception of Juneau, was better than expected.   Just a relaxing trip where we didn't have to answer to anyone else.   We met some great people that I hope we stay in touch with and we both didn't want to come home.  Sometimes when we cruise we come home exhausted and that wasn't the case here.   Sure, we stayed up too late last night, but we were still on Pacific time and slept on the flight home. 

Beautiful British Columbia

Good news on the fitness front.    My weight stayed constant over the trip; 250 when we left and 249 this morning.   Yes I still exercised every day, but I'm trying to make this a lifestyle change, not another lose and go back period.   I did eat pretty much what I wanted and when I wanted it.  It was pretty reassuring to me that if I stick to  30-60 minutes of exercise and avoid being completely sedentary my weight will maintain itself.   I just have to stay focused.

Enough random shit for today.  I overslept and missed the live class I planned to take, but I'll make up for that now.  Have a great weekend and talk soon...