I figure it's finally time that I talk about 2025 and what's going on with my fitness into 2026. I've been somewhat consumed by the ongoing chaos here in the US, and the feelings I have about where the country is going. Not sure if I want to get into that, but it does weigh on me quite a bit, however I won't allow it to derail me from staying healthy. I'd rather be healthy in a dystopian future instead of looking like Baron Harkonnen if you get my drift.
With that gloomy intro, how did 2025 end up? If I had to pick a word it would be disappointing. Maybe I set my bar too high, or maybe I didn't expect some of the challenges that hit last year, but overall it was just a disappointing year.
You might ask why, and that's a fair question, especially given I still accomplished quite a bit last year. While that's true, I think I took a few steps backwards and I'm not sure how that happened. Let me explain. The easiest metric for me to point at is my weight. While my weight was stable for part of the year, it began to trickle up and I finished the year 16 pounds above where I started it. Yes, I put an effort into gaining muscle, which I think I did, but I did put some weight on that I'm not too happy about, so I am going to get back down this year.
Secondly, I rode the fewest amount of miles on the bike that I have since I bought it. I had month after month where I missed goals, yes I always had an excuse, but when I look back at the results last year, that's all it was. Excuses.
Third, I had my worst performance in a triathalon yet and skipped a number of events I registered for. I'll excuse the last one, because I'd been struggling with injuries for a good chunk of last year, but the reality was I didn't put the effort in, and it showed. I suspect it contributed to getting hurt and I've been paying the price for it all along.
Fourth, and probably the most impactful were the injuries. I started the year pulling my hamstring in a race, still finished it mind you, and that kind of set the tone for the rest of the year. I think I over compensated and planned too many events, but surprisingly I made it through most of them. However, I really didn't anticipate my hip giving out in August. Some days it's just a struggle to walk to the bathroom and quite frankly, I've never EVER, had this type of issue. I suspect I'll be getting a new hip and knee(s) in the not so distant future, and I really hope I can back to moving without pain. I had to accept the reality that running is out of the question right now, hell walking more than a quarter mile isn't an option right now and that just fucking sucks a lot.
Finally, I feel like I didn't put the work in last year. Even if I didn't run any races from May on. Even with all the travel, which really doesn't help. Even with my dad passing away, I took shortcuts on exercises and did the bare minimum to get it done. Yes, I closed my rings, but sometimes barely. I used to do 60-120 minutes of exercise and feel great, now I do 30-45 and call it a day.
All of this comes back to why? I wish I had a solid answer. Some was a little bit of burnout. Two years of hard work with almost no letup was a lot to ask. Especially since I'm not a kid anymore, but I don't think I overdid it, instead I think I wasn't smart about it. I will say that getting hurt and not being able to run anymore has been a real blow to my sense of invincibility. Yes, I knew running was at best a "questionable" choice, but I like competition. I crave goals and challenges, and I feel like those have been taken away from me prematurely. I'm also at a loss as to where to find alternatives. We had a lot going on last year too, we spent a lot of time up in VA, my dad died, we went on a ton of vacations, and I spent a week in Ireland. All of that was competing for my time, and exercise found the back burner.
So... What am I going to do this year? Some of it I'm still unsure about. Lately, my hip has been feeling better, so I'm optimistic that with continued rest I can maybe do some light walking. In a perfect world I'd be able to start a light running program and maybe train for an event, but I think that's unlikely. With that said, I've set what I think are some some realistic goals for this coming year. I got used to missing goals and that needs to change.
So, here are my goals for 2026:
You see I came late to the Dead. Yes, I could have seen them with Jerry, but I never did. When I was really into that type of scene none of my friends were deadheads, so nobody asked me to go see them, and when I tried to get tickets, I didn't think driving to Buffalo was a good idea. Not to mention I'd have to convince my "normal" friends that driving to a show, with copious amounts of drugs involved, that was hours away was going to be fun.
Later on, when I probably should have gone I was just focused on school and I missed so many shows I would have loved, including shows at MSG, Boston Garden etc... I missed the last run of Pink Floyd shows which I also greatly regret. Any shot of seeing Layne Staley.
Long story short, I found the dead when D&C started, or maybe they found me. Instead of feeling sorry for myself that I missed out, I took what was available and finally found my tribe. I've often wondered what my life would have been like had I seen them in Foxboro or even Buffalo that summer. I doubt I'd be living in Florida, or writing this blog, but you never know. C'est la vie.
Thanks for keeping it going as long as you did Bob. I thought I had more to say but I'll leave you all with this:
I loved the WTC, yes they were somewhat ugly buildings, but they defined NY and the city has never looked right to me subsequently.
Even in Vermont we noticed the lack of planes overhead and I'll never forget seeing the smoke plume from the city...
That said, I wish we could find some national unity today. Love or hate him Bush at least tried to bring the country together in grim time, and that's a stark change from the address the President gave about the assassination of Charlie Kirk.
Listen Maga people, he wasn't JFK, RFK, MLK etc... He wasn't a national hero, in fact he was no more OR less important than any other person who was killed yesterday. There was yet another school shooting yesterday and I don't see your rage about that.
We don't know who killed him, or more importantly WHY, so let's stop blaming people. Yes it was tragic. Yes I feel for his family, I lost my dad recently so I particularly feel for his kids, who will grow up without a father.
Political violence has no place here, but having a large part of the country foaming at the mouth to blame people, with no evidence, simply because it's convenient and easy. We need to work together as one nation to solve these problems, instead of dividing even further.
It's weird, but life just keeps rolling on, no matter what goes on. It's kind of surreal that my parents are all gone and yet everything just keeps going. September is going to be an insane month for Merinda and I with travel to Ireland, Virginia, Ireland and home. First she goes to get her mom tomorrow, then they fly to VA to meet Matteo, then I drive to VA to hopefully meet Matteo, then I fly her home, then I fly home and it's going to be October... In between all that, I need to deal with Dad stuff, the house, work and everything else. Ugh.
On top of all that, I'm still trying to stay focused and motivated for exercise. I'm actually feeling motivated, but the hip pain I've been feeling since my trip to Cali has made it a challenge to do much of everything. Then if we add in whatever happened to my knee the night Dad died, and it's become a horrorshow. I'm hoping some rest and low impact time will let me heal up because otherwise I'm going to need some kind of surgery or something.
So, how was August? In a word emotional. I had the complete high of the trip to SF, the shows, the city and everything else. Then the return home, the letdown after a great time and the pain... Lots of pain. My hip flexors are still shredded and some times I can barely lift my feet to put on clothing. At least I can gently cycle to get some exercise and then the knee injury (probably meniscus tear) and Dad. Add in some friends, who forgot what it means to be a friend, and my month imploded. I lost a week up in VA where I only did stretching, meditation and some light walking so I fell pretty far behind on my monthly goal, missed another race and feel like I'm going backwards on my health journey. Instead of talking about it all here, let's look at what happened.
Let me be clear, even if I hadn't lost last week in VA I would have missed my mileage target again. I lost almost a full week in SF and last week and with my hips/knees that doomed any chance of me making up the distance. I also failed to ride outdoors, but the weather has been shitty, so that's ok. I'm really more disappointed in my weight. I felt like I was trending in the right direction early in the month, but once again, managed to fatten myself up by the end of the month. I just can't seem to summon the willpower to keep myself from junk food. I'll have to do better because I just will not get fat again. I'm ok with missing goals because of Dad, or that I'm hurt, because those are out of my control. It wasn't by choice that I missed the 5k on the 23rd. My knee siezed up on Wednesday night and at that point I decided it wasn't worth it to run a 5k. Add in some heavy rain and it was an easy, albeit disappointing choice.
Ok, so what am I going to do this month? That's a good question and let's dive into it.
With being away for half the month I've cut my mileage target to 200. Yes it's silly low, but a week in VA, and a week in Ireland and travel time and I won't be cycling much. I'd rather exceed it, than see red again for a month. I'd like to see my weight get below 225 consistently. Merinda is going away, so I'll eat lighter (hopefully) and I can maybe get my weight down. I feel like it's more of an appetite issue right now. If the rest look like last month it's because they are. I've pared it down a bit to try and make it fit with my knees/hips and hopefully that's not going to be a problem.
That's enough rambling for today. Still dealing with a lot so this was a nice break. Hope to talk soon!
