Happy Halloween

 Halloween is one of those holidays I just don't get.  My family never made a big deal about it, and I never liked dressing up in costume.  Maybe it's because I didn't have any kids of my own, but once I stopped wanting to go trick or treating I stopped looking forward to it.  I have nothing against it, and we get candy for the kids, although we barely see any, but I don't get into costume parties etc...   If that's your thing enjoy, for me I'll pass.   I don't really need or want the candy in the house either.   I'm much better at willpower when there isn't a giant Costco sized bag of chocolate in the house calling to me by name.

So I hit my weight goal this month and it's been different.   I'm definitely eating a bit more and I've been successfully keeping my weight around 225.   It's only been three weeks but it's a start and given past experiences this will be harder than losing the weight.  I did join a pile of challenges through the Echelon community so I'm using those to keep my motivation up, but we're also going up to VA for ten days or so for Thanksgiving and my sister-in-law's 50th birthday.   The good news is she has an echelon bike which I can use, the bad news is they don't cook at all so it's on Merinda and I to make sure we have decent food.  On that note, let's recap what I planned for October:

• Weigh 225
• Ride 450 miles
• Walk 25 miles
• Perfect Month in Apple
• Get the October exercise goal in Apple.
• Finish the TDE

Weight results:

• Starting Weight: 230.90
• Ending Weight: 225.90
• Net Loss: (5.00)
• Total Loss: (102.10)

Exercise info:

• Number of rides: 86
• Time on exercise: 01:06:07:51
• Distance on rides: 537.29
• Number of walks: 10
• Time walking: 06:21
• Distance walking: 18.3

Results:

All things considered, I would have to call this a mixed month.   The good is I hit my overall weight loss goal and have stayed right where I want to be.   I destroyed my mileage goal on the bike, and in fact had my best month yet.  I hit all the apple goals I wanted, including the walking one, which I thought would be difficult.   However I did miss a few things, some by design, some by accident.  I didn't finish the TDE.   Those long hills classes seem very daunting, and typically when I have an "on-demand" day I watch some Picard while doing a just pedal 60.   I also found out that Echelon finally added a group for the 2023 TDE but they didn't credit me for the 17 stages I completed, just the one I did this month, so in order to get the accomplishment I would need to restart it.  I also seem to have missed my walking total again.   Not sure how that came about, because I had to record 30 miles in Apple to get the October award, but it happened and I'm disappointed.

So lets talk about November and what that looks like.

November Goals:

• Maintain Weight
• Ride 450 miles - I am trying to hit 500
• Walk 20 miles
• Perfect Month in Apple
• Apple November exercise goal

I think these are going to start looking familiar.  I'm going to have a few days off the bike this month due to travel so I didn't increase my distance target.   To be honest, I'd like to bump it to 500 miles for this month/next month, but I'm not sure how I can hit that without becoming a complete exercise junkie.  If I took a few more days off, which I probably should, I'd be under 500 this month and I'm not going to set goals that require all out effort to hit.   On a brighter note, I'm in the #longwayup challenge, which is a team based mileage challenge, so that will encourage me to ride further if not always harder, so I might start sacrificing output for distance.   I'm going to try for 500 this month but it's a soft goal, so not reall.  I'm also going to try to walk more, like I do every month, because cross training is important.  The rest should be self-explanatory.  I didn't work my fucking ass off for 10 months to gain it all back so those are lifestyle changes and will be here to stay.

Final thoughts:

I knew this time would come, and I am struggling a little bit.   Not with the exercise motiviation, although a lazy day sounds awesome, but with my diet.  It's hard to sacrifice for almost a year and then continue to sacrifice.   I remember why it was so easy to fall into bad habits now.   It's natural to want to reward yourself, and to be honest I do reward myself.   We went to Berns for dinner, and I ate a lot of food.   Steak, potato, onion soup, salad, pate and bread pudding.   I didn't finish all of it, although I brought 1/2 the steak home, but it was easily the largest meal I've had in a very long time and I just have to keep reminding myself that I can't be a pig.  I still log my food intake and I am on a calorie budget because I need help with that, yes it's 1000 calories/day higher than it was when I was trying to lose weight.   The next two months should be a good test with being away for both Thanksgiving and Christmas as well as my birthday..   Wish me luck!

I've rambled for what seems like a while.   Happy Halloween and talk soon...

One year ago...

 I know I'm almost at the end of the month, and normally I might have waited for a few more days but I was reminded of the actual event that triggered my desire to affect change and thought I'd share it.

You see it was one year ago, October 28th 2022 that Merinda and I went to see a band play at the Woodwright.   It was a Grateful Dead inspired event that she found for me and she even dressed up in a "costume" of sorts.   Normally the type of event I would enjoy, but I couldn't.  I was in such bad shape that standing for more than 20 minutes, yes the event was standing room only, was effectively impossible for me, and I was in severe pain and we had to go find somewhere for me to sit down.

John and Merinda Oct. 2022

The thought of becoming a cripple at 54 years old was a very sobering moment for me.   I would say "what about in 10 years", but the reality was that I was going to be a crippled in five if I didn't make some changes and make them quickly.

Sick

I have to admit that I've been lucky about getting sick this year.   I haven't been sick since around New Years when I had the flu, no it wasn't Covid, I was supposed to see the doctor and was tested and it came back for flu-b.  I assumed it was Covid, but I seem to attract the flu on cruises.   Regardless of past history, getting sick is never fun and while I'm grateful that I don't get sick often, it's still no fun and this is an inopportune time.  Matthew turns thirty this week and Merinda wants to go see him, and as she got sick first we're hoping it's not Covid, and it doesn't seem like it, stuffy nose and light congestion.  I'm pretty sure it's just a cold, but in the covid era everyone jumps to the assumption that it's Covid.   That's what I did in January too, but the seasons are changing and its that time of year.   Family is important, but that's not the focus here and this is also less than ideal for me.  You see I just started two, yes two, challenges to help keep me motivated to workout.   One is a weekly challenge to do three or more thirty minute workouts and the other is a team based distance challenge.

So....   Long story short the alarm went off this morning and I decided to skip the 8am cadence class.   I was feeling ok yesterday and last night but it was a little too much this morning.   I'm definitely feeling less than 100% and have a stuffy nose and cough.  I have backup classes I like to take in case I just miss early ones for work, but feeling .  I just have to figure out how to pull my weight in my team challenge, and get two more thirty minute workouts in this week.   I know, first world problems, but I'm not trying to solve world peace, just stay fit.

Overtraining

 Yes, I'm posting a bit more but I'm trying to figure out my path so, as Merinda would say, bear with me...   I've been thinking about over training lately and whether I've fallen into that trap.   I pushed very hard at the end to get to my target weight and that's left me feeling drained.   Now add in that I'm fitter than I've been for a while and some distance goals and I find myself needing to work out more and more right at the point where I want to add some rest days in and do other activities like walking in lieu of a day on the bike.   You see, I've wanted to compete in a triathalon since the 90's.   Back when I was running I knew I couldn't be competitive at my age group in a run, but I could bike and swim, so I thought a triathalon might be fun.   No, I have no aspirations on an ironman or anything like that, but a sprint triathalon (5k run, .5 mile swim and 25-30 mile bike)?   Sure.

That's going to mean time off the bike.   That means my bike workouts need to be longer to meet my 450 mile goal.   Now I'm not planning on starting triathalon training today, or even this month, I am planning on days off.   Even at one day off per week I'll need to average slightly over 18 miles/day to hit my goal this month.

Here's the problem.   Although I felt strong today, it was a really nice change but probably due to a decent nights sleep and a fair amount of protien and carbs yesterday, it hasn't been my recent experience.   I was fatigued on Friday and Sunday and only did a 30 minute low impact on Saturday trying to give myself a break.  I felt overworked all of last week, but that could have been stress.

It's just shaping up to be a tough month.   I still need to walk two miles eleven more times this month, the good part is I get to eat more.   Maybe more just pedal 60's or long endurance rides and fewer 20's which goes well with the long distance challenge starting on the 15th.

Let's see how this week goes....  

Goal achieved...

I expected to hit my weight goal this month, but I didn't expect to hit it in the first week, and with everything else going on it feels a little bittersweet and anti-climactic.  Regardless, I was  surprised this morning when I weighed under 225.   By the way, Lose It if you see this, maybe you should make those milestones something that shows up.   I got something at every milestone except for the ones where you hit your goal, or even the weight lost.  For the record this is approximately one hundred pounds I've lost.   Probably a little more from my peak, but I didn't get on the scale then.

So, where do I go from here?

Well, my plan is to make this the exception and keep the weight off.   How do I plan to do that?  I'm going to continue to target 30+ minutes of exercise a day, weigh myself, and continue to log my meals.   Those are changes from previous times when I've lost weight.   Normally I "celebrate" and almost immediately start going back to where I was.   To avoid that I've done a few things to help me along with this.   First was buying an actual bike.   We're in nice weather season here in Florida and I should be able to go for an actual ride next weekend.  Second was joining the distance challenge through Echelon.   I'm on a team and I do better when there's either competition or someone is relying on me.   I'm going to continue to do those.   Third is Merinda wants to get a little more fit, so we're starting to go for walks and I'm very happy to swap some riding days for those.  In line with that I'm considering changing my workout routine and swap in some evening rides instead of only the morning.   Yeah, I prefer morning rides, but I did a few evening rides over the past two weeks and remembered that I like those instructors too.   So, I might have to add in a Tuesday/Thursday night ride.

That brings me to my last topic today and it's fatigue.  I accepted this at the end of September because I was pushing myself very hard to hit my targets, but I didn't expect to feel shattered this morning.   Janet's class felt a little hard and I got into zone 5, but it wasn't until I got into Sam's class that I crashed.   I struggled with the arms and then could barely keep myself going during the intervals and if I'm being honest I thought I might have to quit.  I fought my way through the rest of the morning but damn...   Yeah I worked out last night, and can accept my arms/shoulders being shredded but not sure about the bike workout.  It's not like I really stretched myself here.  I'm going to take it easy tomorrow, go to yoga in the morning and maybe try a low impact ride afterwards, and then do my normal Sunday workout, and maybe I just need some days to recover.   One thing I did last night was to take a bath with some muscle soak in it.   It felt great but my blood pressure was pretty low afterwards and it took me a while to stop sweating afterwards.   I guess I'm just a sweaty bastard and if my BP keeps crashing I'll talk to the doctor again.

Anyway, on to the next episode...   Have a great weekend and talk soon!

Loss

 The past 24 hours have been pretty rough here.   I've been planning to start a business with a friend of mine who happens to be an outstanding chef.  I'm not exaggerating, he is truly gifted.  So we've been talking about it and finally started planning this year.   Earlier this summer we put things in motion and he came to Florida to start kicking the tires.

What I didn't know was that he has a serious drinking problem.   The kind of problem where you can't stop once you start.

We closed our eyes to it because we thought "he's on a mini vacation... Once we start working it will get better"..

Fast forward to last month and he arrives.  First thing he wants to do is drink...   Ok, fine we're celebrating the launch of the business...  He spends 2-3 days drunk/hungover and then we get going.   Get licensed, get inspected, all that stuff.   Meanwhile he's still having benders every 5-7 days, yes in three weeks we had three benders, all of which went 2-3 days.  I feel like I can't relax at home because if I have a drink I have to offer him one, but I don't need to get wasted every night, nor do I want to finish every bottle I open, and to be honest we were over after effects.   I might have dealth with the drunk time, but it was the mood swings and all around shitty attitude we couldn't take.

It's a last weekend and we're finally set for an event this coming Friday.  We're having a nice relaxing Sunday talking about the event, making some snacks for football, and he starts drinking beer.   Two beers in he goes "Lets drink tonight!"   I say no because of all the above, plus I don't want a hangover on Monday for work.   He sighs, then goes and buys a handle of vodka.   Proceeeds to drink half that night and the other half once he got up on Monday.   Tries to do some work on Monday but kept drinking and passed out in the afternoon.   Missed all the planned work activities on Tuesday either sleeping, or sulking or watching videos.   Finally, around 6pm Merinda and I confront him and he couldn't give a shit.   Made no effort to say he was sorry, wrong, hell anything beyond asking "what did you do today?".   Mind you I was ordering items for the popup *and* working my 9-5 which is funding the startup.   At that point I lost it and pulled the plug on the business and after a day of him sulking and not talking to use he finally left this evening.   This was every bit as awkward and unpleasant as you can imagine.  It wasn't dissimiliar from the last time I saw my first wife when she moved out of our home.

As I commented to someone, it's one thing to have a friend who's an addict, it's something different to have it be a business partner that you have to rely on.   He was the chef and chief food guy, he made all the decisions yet I was told I was controlling.

I have an alcoholic father, I was in my 30's when I told him he wasn't welcome to be in my life anymore because he behaved like my friend (yes dad got sober).   My wife has an alcoholic mother who also behaves like this and neither of us wanted to be someone's nanny.  I don't want to worry that this is the weekend where he won't be able to work and fucks up our business, and as I learned it won't be the first time.

Regardless, I'm feeling pretty low.  Yes the business failure is disappointing, but more importantly I've lost a friend that I've known for over a decade and I just hope he finds help before he ends up in a worse place...

Hug your loved ones....   Be safe....

Fall...

I like living in Florida, I really do.   I don't mind the heat and humidity and have no issues with the summer here.   I was glad to trade snow and ice for the heat.   We have a pool and I jump in when it's hot or I can go in the air conditioned house.  That said, it's amazing here when the summer heat finally breaks and we get into the cooler weather.   It also is bringing some welcome changes for my exercise routine as I'm hoping to finally get some cross training and a little less bike time.   It's not that I'm sick of the bike, but since I'm effectively at my goal I'm trying to find the happy medium where I can maintain my weight and exercise routine.

So with all that said lets talk about September.  Here were the goals I set:

• Weigh 230 or less
• Ride 400 miles
• Walk 15 miles
• Perfect Month in Apple
• Get the September exercise goal in Apple.
• Finish the TDE

Weight results:

• Starting Weight: 237.64
• Ending Weight: 229.30
• Net Loss: (8.34)
• Total Loss: (98.70)

Exercise info:

• Number of rides: 89
• Time on exercise: 01:05:58:52
• Distance on rides: 515.57
• Number of walks: 4
• Time walking: 02:02
• Distance walking: 6.2

Results:

I like to start with what went well and I hit all my major goals.   I hit my weight goal, I crushed my bike distance goal, more on that in a minute, had a perfect month in Apple and achieved the September exercise goal.  What I didn't expect was to hit the end of the month and discover that I needed five days of 80+ minutes of exercise to hit my September challenge.   I assumed this would be no problem, do my regular workouts then go for a stroll at night and I'll get that, easy peasy.   Wrong.   Being more fit means my heart rate doesn't spike during a walk and it's not a workout.....  Needless to say I had to push myself on the bike a lot more than I planned and really burned my legs out in that last week.   Yeah I demolished my mileage goal, hell I had my first 500+ mile month, but I need some rest days, and I need them pretty badly.  By the end of last week I was feeling shattered and struggling on the bike and I hit bottom on Saturday when I was barely able to keep pace in my class.   I finished but it was a struggle and I was far below what I expected in terms of pace and output.  Let me finish by saying I also missed two goals last month.  I didn't walk enough nor did I finish the TDE.  I still have three long hills and a speed class to go and have no excuses.   That said, it ended up being a decent month and I was satisfied with the month. 

So, lets talk about October.   Getting to the "end" doesn't mean going back to the old ways and here's what I want to do this month:

October Goals:

• Weigh 225
• Ride 450 miles
• Walk 25 miles
• Perfect Month in Apple
• Get the October exercise goal in Apple.
• Finish the TDE

Yeah these should look familiar.   My monthly fitness goals are probably going to look like this going forward although some will vary but these are all tied to specific activities and challenges.    My revised weight goal has been 225 for a while.  I just want to get there and maintain it for a while.   I don't think I need to be "skinnier" although I'd be happy to lose some stubborn belly.  I know a flat stomach is out of the question, but it's demoralizing to work this hard and have handles I can grab that I know will never go away.   Not just a pinch either but a fistful of flab.  Hopefully if I keep working I'll trade some of that for muscle and can tone myself up.   Time will tell, but if it doesn't resolve itself I'll talk to the doctor about it and see what I can do.  I think the ride and exercise goals are pretty self explanatory.   Apple has a workout goal to walk two miles fourteen times this month, so I should get that for a change and it will help me with some variety and days off the bike.  Merinda is interested in getting in better shape so we're going to try to walk two miles a few days per week to get both of us moving.   I'm also hoping to get this food side hustle going and that's going to take away my weekend workout times after this coming weekend so we'll see how that impacts things.   Not sure how I'll finish the TDE this month, but I'll just slug away at it as I only have three long classes left.

Final Thoughts:

I'm heading into what's traditionally been tough times for me.   Typically, once I get rolling I can hit my weight loss goal and feel great then I start eating more and working out less and eventually end up back where I started.   I'm trying to avoid that this time.   I just don't want to throw away all the work I did this year.   Yes, I had a cheat weekend in terms of food, but I did work out all weekend and to be fair, I needed it.   As I already said I was pretty shattered by Sunday.  I skipped Dani's class because I needed some rest and I wasn't sure how I'd do physically that morning.   I did sixty minutes later while watching the red zone, but it was well needed both physically and mentally.  Other things that are exciting are I installed the challenges app last month and like it.   I've got three challenges going this month so= I hope it's going to keep Merinda and I motivated, and I joined a long distance echelon challenge which starts on the 15th (go east coast riders!).   I'll post some updates about that, but it sounds like fun and should keep my mileage up, especially since I still have a 450 mile target for the month.  I'm hoping the walking days help me with fatigue.  Still have to get the Bianchi in for a tuneup but the weather is getting nice and maybe riding outdoors will help.  TLDR?  This should be the last month of losing weight and hope these other things help me lose the last few pounds and stay on track.

I did forget to mention that 10/1/2023 was eleven years of no smoking...  I miss it sometimes but c'est la vie.  That's more than enough for a Monday morning, so have a great month...   Talk soon.